Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
