Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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