I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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