even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
someone owes me an orgasm
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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