u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
