I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
