I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
