have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
