I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This baby is an asshole
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
