Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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