She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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