I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
