Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
