Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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