i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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