I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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