You can't special order awesome
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
