If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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