now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
