Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
