Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
