Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I came so hard my ears popped.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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