my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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