Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
