so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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