I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
