she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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