If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
