i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
