Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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