Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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