didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't think brook has ever known best
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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