I don't think brook has ever known best
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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