The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
