ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
