I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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