Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize