Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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