I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
