? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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