im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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