I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
