grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
