Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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