in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize