This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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