fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
