I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
