I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
