Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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