we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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