he puts the penis in happiness.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I made him laugh his dick is mine
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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