belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Michael Bay diarrhea
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
