Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
